| Shameless self promotion |
[Nov. 21st, 2006|09:23 am] |
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I've seen others post their artwork on this site, as if there were an all-loving mother that would hang it up on the community fridge for them. I thought I would join the bandwagon and brag to what will realistically be no one.
It's a picture of my parents. First attempt at charcoal.
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| The fad of the week |
[Jun. 27th, 2006|10:32 am] |
It seems like everyone is getting tired of bitching about immigration, and global warming seems to be the debate of the week. Thanks a lot, Al Gore, your politically-infused science has put yet another thousand idiots up on their soapbox. Hopefully your movie will be just as effective as Farenheit 9/11... a whole bunch of people bitching for a month or two, with no real fallout.
"If you throw a frog into a pot of boiling water, he will jump out. But if you slowly increase the heat of the water he is in, you'll eventually cook the frog." But if you increase that heat at a rate so slow that he is able to procreate with other frogs, and some of the progeny exhibits traits that would be advantageous in warmer water, those traits may allow for the natural selection of those frogs, and through such evolution you could very well create a frog that has adapted to boiling-water conditions. I'm not afraid of global warming, and neither is nature.
Meanwhile, nuclear weapons are being manufactured under buzzing fluorescent lights by peoples holding nationalistic ideals close to their hearts. Invisible political boundaries create friction between factions of a race that is smart enough to destroy the world within minutes, yet too ignorant to prioritize their gradual and imminent threats appropriately.
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I'm going to Disneyworld this weekend for a four-day stay. |
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| Weird and artistic for me |
[Jun. 22nd, 2006|01:57 pm] |
You ever see those pictures of your parents, where they are all young, and hanging out outside together, and aren't thinking of children, and look all seventies, with jam-ass clothes and undyed hair with no volume? You remember thinking "Jesus Christ, look at you two... what the fuck were you on?" I would accept that my parents had a life before me, but I doubted that it lasted any longer than five minutes. After all, I'm pretty important.
Anyhow, seeing those pictures- not only of my parents, but of any random parents of the era- makes me nostalgic for a time that I did not exist. I wish I could have a picture of myself from that era, with striped socks and flat blonde hair parted down the middle. I suppose the pictures that I do have, Ashley will one day look at them and say "What in the hell was your problem back then, Dad?" Then again, she may very well be in many of those pictures.
Exeunt |
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| #1 |
[Jun. 14th, 2006|12:10 pm] |
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When the smoke cleared, both mugs were broken, and no man could truly be called the World's Greatest Grandpa. |
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| Me too |
[Jun. 13th, 2006|10:03 am] |
Everyone else is doing it, why can't I?
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| Back to LJ |
[Jun. 5th, 2006|09:45 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Work | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  relaxed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Right Aways- Initiate Sequence | ] |
Those rascals in IT have blocked myspace from my computer. Then they started blocking the proxies I was using, one by one. In the ultimate "check-mate" they snitched on me to HR. Moral of the story: No more myspace for me, back to LJ.
===============================================================================
From the new (to me) Right Aways' CD, "Initiate Sequence":
Your daughter's college education is going right up your nose, and you're too strung out to care
But don't worry about what your wife may think
And don't worry about how much you drink
Your kids are too young to notice
You've got to avoid these situations that could lead to your demise
First say goodbye to late night fights
Then say goodbye to custody rights
One more hit and you won't even care
Cause you're the father of the year
You should be proud of yourself
We should be proud of him
Let's switch to another situation
One concerning my dearest friend
Who you may think is a little off the deep end
And you may think that you're higher up
Because you know that you're better off
But in his heart he really cares
Cause you're the father of the year
You should be proud of yourself
We should be proud of him
=======================================================
Ash lost her first tooth last night on some corn on the cob. If you had seen how excited she was, you would understand why people have children. Best dollar spent all weekend. |
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| Jacked! |
[Jan. 19th, 2005|12:32 pm] |
What's worse than coming home after a short Xmas break than finding out that your house was broken into while you were gone? Motherfucking gimp bastards stole my playstation. They also took the DVD tower. That's it, luckily, but I'm still superfuckingpissed. That butch dyke cop didn't even fingerprint the window they came in, left out from, or any of the cords and shit that they left. Instead, she offered us the brilliant advice of "get out of this neighborhood."
After two burglaries in less than as many years, I'd have to agree with her. But before I leave, I'd like to say: Fuck you Greeley immigrants, and fuck your adolescent gangbanging fuck-up children. |
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| My vision |
[Oct. 21st, 2004|11:00 am] |
Justin Benore: Maybe once Ash starts school and you get a job, we can get all sorts of crap
Justin Benore: Like a llama
Justin Benore: Or a bowflex
Heather Lowell: right
Justin Benore: Or a huge set of keys that don't go to anything
Heather Lowell: sounds wonderful
Justin Benore: Then we'll both get spinner hubcaps
Justin Benore: And... (drumroll)
Justin Benore: GOLD TEETH!
Heather Lowell: NO
Justin Benore: For you, me, Ash, Dax, and the cats!
Heather Lowell: What do I even say>
Heather Lowell: ?
Justin Benore: What do YOU want to buy when we're rich?
Heather Lowell: a new house
Heather Lowell: that'll do
Justin Benore: Wouldn't you like to do graphic design from a couch on a 300-inch screen?
Heather Lowell: no, too hard to see everything at once
Justin Benore: A couch made out of kangaroo?
Heather Lowell: we'll never be that rich'
Justin Benore: With cupholders
Heather Lowell: that will have to change my morals
Justin Benore: And shiatsu
Justin Benore: In fact, we could have kangaroo pockes on the sides of the couch to hold bridal magazines!
Heather Lowell: We're only getting married once...why would I want a place for bride magazines?
Justin Benore: What say we install a firepole to get down to the basement?
Justin Benore: Or maybe a laundry chute?
Heather Lowell: Oh my god, you are Mr. Imagination today
Heather Lowell: Sure, let's do it
Justin Benore: I have a vision
Heather Lowell: This is what's going to make you happy?
Justin Benore: This, and a few tools
Justin Benore: I would trade it all for just a little more
Heather Lowell: Oh of course
Heather Lowell: Well now that we got that cleared up...
Justin Benore: We need armrests on the toilet
Heather Lowell: I guess we're gonna have to start working a lot harder
Justin Benore: And central vacuum
Heather Lowell: why? You only sit down like maybe 50% of the time
Justin Benore: I would sit MORE if we had armrests...
Heather Lowell: oh
Justin Benore: I would sit to go pee if we had a toilet seat made of tapir |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 30th, 2004|01:32 pm] |
Apparently there is more than one way to skin a cat.
...
I'd be happy to just know one of those ways. I hate cats. |
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| Breakfast cereal melee |
[Sep. 30th, 2004|10:39 am] |
While Heather and Ashley were down in Denver the other night visiting Heather's parents, I found myself swinging by the grocery store on the way home from work. I brought to the counter one 32 oz. bottle of Busch beer, and one box of Count Chocula.
When Heather got home, I told her about the box of Count Chocula that I purchased. Instead of the look of disgust that I had expected, she says "Yum, that sounds good. I've never had Count Chocula before."
"You've never had Count Chocula as a kid?"
"No. We weren't allowed to eat that."
"That's the great part of being an adult... you get to do all of the things you weren't allowed to as a kid."
...AND WITH A REBEL YELL, SHE CRIED "MORE, MORE, MORE."
When Ashley saw the box in the cupboard this morning, she quicklt snatched it up. Before even trying it, she told me "Dad, this is the best cereal that I've never had." Who would have thought that the king would rule his castle with a box of Count Chocula. |
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| Ashley's Birthday |
[Sep. 7th, 2004|09:39 am] |
Today is Ashley's 4th Birthday. I am the father of a 4 year old. Groan.
Kickass party at Chuck E. Cheese this weekend. Matt McCuistion's wedding reception also ruled, as did the Taste of Colorado. My old man just got himself a new boat in reaction to my purchasing a jetski for Heather last Xmas. My old man has penis envy, and I'm the Joneses he's trying to keep up with. That's cool.
Ash birthday pics:     |
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| Back to school. |
[Aug. 20th, 2004|08:43 am] |
Last night marked the end of my first week back to school in over 2 years. I had forgotten about how much fun it was to learn at the same speed as a Nascar-emulating, methamphetamine smoking, carburetor-rebuilding redneck drives. I had also forgotten about how stressful it all is as well. Hurry up and jot down these notes as fast as the teacher is talking. Am I gonna need this for the test? I am soooo behind in my reading....
On the bright side, law students seem to pale in comparison to chemistry students when it comes to the wits department. As I enthusiastically ask the professor if our grades were to follow a Gaussian distribution, several members of the class needed to be caught up by using the term "bell curve". You know... because it looks like a bell.
On a more depressing note, these are the same people that will be defending you in court and writing the laws that will govern your life.
They're not dumb, per se. These kids are pretty bright. They're just not my standard technical-minded, socially awkward nerd. What else can I do but represent? Woot woot!
They seem to treat you like adults in grad school. My Land Use Planning teacher buys beer for the class. Didn't he stop to think about us boarder-line alcoholics? My notes are sloppy from the DTs.
Also, I watched the movie "Hendrix" last night. I really, really like Jimi Hendrix. I also have another reason to hate Billy Zane. I also wish that in a movie such as this, they could have gotten someone who KNOWS how to play guitar to play the part. They portrayed Jimi as an ego-maniac. Maybe he was, I don't know. I wasn't there. At least Hollywood allows me an outlet to live my life vicariously through actors emulating rock-stars.
Doc Holiday and Jim Morrison look nothing alike, but Val Kilmer looks like both of them. Kinda. |
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| Positive reinforcement |
[Aug. 3rd, 2004|12:15 pm] |
I've been reading a few different books on the art of child rearing, and they all seem to collectively agree that positive reinforcement is the way to go. You know, by giving attention to good acts instead of bad, the child will do good things in order to get attention. I think that holds true (aside from the mandatory ritual of discipline required for the child's safety and the parent's sanity). This positive reinforcement cycle is based on a child wanting his parents to be proud of him.
However, one thing I don't see mentioned is the fact that by talking to other people about your child IN FRONT of your child, the child's suspicion that you take pride in his activities is confirmed. How better to show your pride than to put your child up on a metaphorical pedestal for all to see? "You should have seen little Ashley put her toys away all by herself... it was AWESOME!" The child thinks "Wow, I knew I was doing something good, but it seems as though it may have been the best thing that happened to Dad all day. This must be so, because he's willing to use it as a conversation piece." Or something like that.
I know, those of you with kids hate hearing crap about other people's kids. You know what? Just grin and bear it, for the kids' sake. And parents: If you're going to bore someone to tears about fantastic tales of your offspring, please at least make sure the kids are within earshot. |
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| 1,000,000 monkeys on typewriters figured out HTML |
[Jul. 20th, 2004|08:49 am] |
...it's about time I did as well.
Here are some pictures:
That's the dog, Dakota. She's gotten a haircut since this picture was taken.
That's Heather and I at Doc Holliday's. See earlier post. We look like winners!
This is my daughter Ashley when we were camping. Hi Ash!
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| Weekend warrior |
[Jul. 19th, 2004|08:41 am] |
You know, I burst my arse in trying to keep up with the internet during the week. Having sworn to never use that slow-ass dial up at home, I do most of my surfing at work when I choose not to be busy. Such as now. But come weekend, when I've punched out for a pair of fun days, I'll be damned if I sit my pale caucasian ass in front of a monitor as I do the other five days. Nope, I'm gonna be out slammin 40s, pimpin hoes, riding jetskis, and visiting my parents. And while I'm doing that, I miss all of the email and livejournal posts, as well as turns in Pimpwar, Happy Pimpin', and Hobo Wars. The weekend happens to the entire world at nearly the same time... can't everyone just take a break? Thank you!
(Please respond for links to Happy Pimpin and Hobo Wars... I get free turns. Pimpwar is at www.pimpwar.com. Please join so I can tempt your hoes with my crack) |
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| Fear and Alcoholism |
[Jul. 15th, 2004|10:02 am] |
Last night was an evening spent with my family and the family of a coworker. We watched a free concert in downtown Greeley from the porch of the Rio Grande restaurant. Having abstained from alcohol myself for the evening, the cool blues and HOT green chili was enough to keep me smiling. But poor Ed... after five beers, three margaritas, and a $140+ tab, he's a hurtin' puppy this morning. You can tell by the fact that he made it in about two hours later than I did. Having shaken the NEED to drink, I can't help but feel a slight victory, although I wish him a speedy recovery.
This weekend Heather's parents and my parents will meet for a second time in a "get to know each other's parents before the wedding" BBQ. I am excited and scared. Each set of parents is embarrassing, but in entirely opposite ways. To throw a monkey wrench in the works, my grandparents will be in town as well, visiting from Florida. Perhaps if I bring the PS2, I might be able to lay low enough with my eyes glued to the screen that I will survive with a few bumps and scratches.
...or I may choose to fall off the wagon. You'd figure logic would kick in at some point. I'll let you know when I get there. |
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